Sometimes leadership feels like a game.
It feels like a formula that must be perfected, a series of steps to be memorized and completed.
In theory it’s confusing and in person it’s challenging. As a leader it’s hard not to crack under the pressure when staring into the face of dissatisfaction and discouragement. It’s a chore in itself to ask the right questions instead of presenting the answer that feels so obvious – the clearly quicker route to success. (At least that’s what it feels like.)
And although there are moments of sweet breakthrough, success, and buy-in, those moments sometimes feel few and far between.
This week we were asked to read an article on trust.
I was sure there would be a definition to memorize and a seven step process to complete but I was surprised at what I found.
The article pointed out that trust – the plain, old-fashioned kind – is the ‘secret’ to efficiency, retention, attraction of talent, joy, good relationships, empowerment and success.
Trust – no games, no formulas – trust. That’s it.
But it didn’t advocate for blind trust.
The authors pointed out two human truths that guide much of what we do.
1. We want to believe the best in others.
2. This world is a place that inspires distrust more than the opposite.
Then they expertly wove those together, using the best of both tendencies.
We inspect the situation with care, paying attention to what we’re trusting someone with (opportunity), the level of risk involved (risk), and the character and competence of the people involved (credibility.) And then we trust – optimistically but intelligently, having considered all of the factors. Trust is paramount ¬– it’s just a matter of determining how much and with what.
When we are trusted, it brings out the best in us. We flourish, taking initiative, feeling ownership and empowerment and the room to experiment. Trust is the foundation of creativity, integrity, and success. Without it work is repeated, time and money have to be wasted filling in gaps and holes, and people don’t feel ownership of the work they’re doing.
But trust is also key in relationships too.
When we’re trusted, we feel free. We feel empowered to be our best selves, living up to the goodness that’s expected of us. We feel free to move forward, not worrying about perfecting or managing perceptions.
But we can’t wait for trust to show up. We can’t wait for people to begin trusting us as leaders or for our loved ones to begin trusting us in relationships.
We have to go first – leaders always go first.
We have to extend trust – not recklessly but confidently– knowing that,
“When we extend trust, we generate trust; when we withhold trust, we generate distrust. Our actions lead either toward a virtuous upward cycle of prosperity, energy, and joy or toward a vicious downward cycle that eventually results in the destruction of those outcomes. Either we add to the renaissance of trust, or we contribute to the crisis of trust – in our personal lives, our families, our communities, our teams, our organizations, our nations and our world.”
It’s time to step out, as leaders, and begin to extend trust.
I think we’ll be amazed at what comes of it.
No tricks, formulas, or games required.
