Why would someone want you to be their leader?
Tim asked us this question in our meeting this last week. I said, “Because I care about the individual while I lead them to the big picture.” Others in the room stated similar reasons and when we were done Tim shared that the Harvard Business Review recently discovered that while all leaders need strategic direction and vision, there are four additional qualities that make for extraordinary leaders.
At the top of this list was vulnerability. What they found was when a leader shares weakness it invites approachability and makes for a safe environment. Brene Brown says a similar thing, “In order for connection to happen we have to allow ourselves to be seen, really seen.”
Later in a separate interview with Fast Company she says, "You have to create a culture of engagement. Where work is humanized, where relationship is valued, where very explicitly, people feel safe making mistakes, asking for help, and trying new things."
I think the times I have failed greatest as a leader was when I protected my own insecurities instead of being vulnerable. I remember in college I co-led a team of 20 people for a big organization on campus. There was one guy on our team who had wonderful charisma, was a leader on campus and a tremendous asset to the team, but he just could never make it to our meetings on time.
My way of handling it was to rip into him. But I did so out of insecurity. I thought that maybe he thought I wasn’t a good leader and so I wanted to show him I was in charge. Had I led with vulnerability, I wonder if he would have felt safe to tell me he went home on Sundays to be with his dying grandmother. Then we could have just chosen a different day to meet.
When you've led, have you been able to share your vulnerability? If not, why not?
